At Consciously Kinky we use four key methodologies: Coaching, Counselling, Hypnotherapy and EMDR.  Over the coming weeks, we'd like to tell you about each one and how it could benefit you.

In this email, the spotlight is on EMDR. 

I'm Matthew. I'm trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and have used it successfully with a broad range of clients.

EMDR is, in a word, strange.

From the outside point of view, it looks like I’m waving my arms around in front of a client, almost like I’m doing a school kid impression of an elephant. 

But, somehow, while I’m waving my arms*, somehow, the client is re-processing past traumas, unlocking memories and helping themselves heal. *(Or tapping your shoulders, or you’re doing a flappy thing on your chest with your hands… there’s several of ways of working together.)

Nobody really knows how or why it works. I don’t pretend to, but my suspicion is that it helps the client take a traumatic memory that they’ve hidden away in their unconscious and connect it with their more logical brain parts. The client is asked to think about the traumatic memories, but in a very safe, supportive environment. 

Doing EMDR allows the client to treat the traumatic event in the same way as normal memories - it’s not gone away, but the response to it is more appropriate. The memory is brought into awareness and integrated in the way the brain works - so it doesn’t change the way the unconscious reacts in unpredictable ways.

For example, I had a client who had an extremely traumatic event happen when they were about 12. The memory of the event was so triggering that they couldn’t integrate it with the rest of their memories. It was sitting there, in the middle of my client’s brain, like a stone. 

We spent a few hours doing EMDR together and, gradually, the memory became more connected. Memories of what happened next surfaced… and then compassion, understanding and acceptance was found for that 12 year old kid who had been through a really, really horrible experience. 

He told me after the experience that he felt lighter and less burdened by the memory that he’d been so diligently trying to suppress.

Another client had problems driving due to a horrendous accident. After spending some time doing EMDR, he messaged me the next day telling me that he had started driving again. His journey wasn't over, but he had made a significant step forward.

Trauma is a problem for lots of people.  Biologically we are programmed to ignore traumatic experiences Yet the ignoring  becomes counterproductive over time and actually hinders us.  EMDR can help you to overcome that.

EMDR has been studied as a treatment for PTSD and other challenges and is recommended by the World Health Organisation (WHO) and (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) NICE. EMDR is particularly good when there are one or two traumatic events that everything else seems to stem from. 

It’s not quite so appropriate (although it can help) when events continued for extended periods of time. Counselling can be better for those challenges.

For rather obvious reasons, I don’t want to fill this email with a list of the type of negative experiences that EMDR would be good at helping you with. So if you’ve got something on your mind and you would like to check out if EMDR would work for you, then get in touch. If I feel that counselling, hypnotherapy or even coaching would be better, I’ll tell you. 

We can also arrange a complimentary chat about what your needs are, and I can answer any questions about how EMDR is done (it can be online or in person), how many sessions I feel would be useful for you to work with me, and if I think it’s right for you.