What is Counselling?

Paul • 12 November 2025

Counselling: Finding Clarity and Insights.

At Consciously Kinky we use four key methodologies: Coaching, Counselling, Hypnotherapy and EMDR.  Over the coming weeks, we'd like to tell you about each one and how it could benefit you.


Today, the spotlight is on Counselling. 


I'm Paul. I have a background in Person Centred Counselling, but I take an integrative approach. I has a foundation degree in counselling and hundreds of hours of therapy work under my belt. I'm a member of the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy). 


Counselling is a supportive and confidential process where a trained professional helps you explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences and what they mean for you. 


Counselling provides a safe space to talk about personal challenges, whether they’re related to mental health, relationships, stress, trauma, grief, or major life decisions


Unlike talking to a friend or family member, counselling is a non-judgmental space where you’re free to speak openly without fear of being criticised or misunderstood. This is particularly important to us at Consciously Kinky where we know how often people misinterpret, judge or shame our sexuality or desires.


Put simply, friends and family (and some other therapists) are usually keen to push their own view and perspective, whereas counselling with Consciously Kinky explores what you feel and what your inner thoughts mean for you.


No judgement. No shame. 


One of the main benefits of counselling is gaining clarity and insight into your own thoughts and behaviour. A counsellor can help you understand patterns that may be keeping you stuck or unhappy, and work with you to develop healthier ways of coping.


It’s not about being told what to do—rather, it’s a collaborative process that empowers you to make choices that feel right for you.


Counselling can also help reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other emotional struggles. Talking things through can lighten emotional burdens and help you feel less overwhelmed or alone


It can improve your self-esteem, relationships, and overall emotional resilience. Even if you’re not in crisis, counselling can be a proactive way to look after your mental health and well-being.


You might consider counselling if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, something is not sitting right with you, or you simply want a better understanding of yourself.


Whether you're facing a specific issue or just feel that something’s not quite right, speaking to a counsellor can offer support and perspective. 


It’s a step toward investing in yourself and your quality of life—and many people find that even a few sessions can make a meaningful difference. I’ve seen people who have made changes that have altered the course of their lives after working with me.


I offer a complimentary no-obligation 45-minute discovery session. We can meet, understand each other better, and we can discuss your challenges. You’ll have the opportunity to ask questions and check that I can support you.


Get in touch if you’d like to know more about kink-aware and LGBTQ+ affirming counselling / therapy.


by Paul 10 December 2025
Christmas alone? Hanukah with the homophobes? Kwanzaa with people who judge you? New Years separated from your loved ones? As we move into the holiday season, many people find this time more emotionally demanding than expected. Even when things look festive on the outside, what’s happening inside can be very different — stress, pressure, loneliness, old family dynamics, or complicated feelings can all surface. If this season feels heavy or overwhelming, please know you’re not alone. To help you stay grounded, here are a few simple practices from our counsellor, Paul, which you may find find supportive: Keep things manageable Give yourself permission to reduce pressure and expectations and do what YOU want. You don’t need to do everything, attend everything, or feel a certain way. Choosing what truly matters to you, and gently letting go of what doesn’t, can dramatically reduce stress. Allow your emotions to exist Tough feelings don’t mean you’re doing something wrong. They are valid responses to a demanding time of year, and they are telling you something. Try to name what you're feeling (“I’m tired,” “I feel disconnected,” “I’m anxious about X”). Naming emotions often softens their intensity. Create small moments to breathe Even 1–2 minutes of slow breathing can help your nervous system settle. A simple practice: breathe in for 4 seconds, out for 6. Repeat a few times. It signals safety and reduces overwhelm. Reach out when you need support Whether it’s a friend, a safe person, or one of us at Consciously Kinky, staying connected can make a big difference. A message, a brief check-in, or a shared moment of honesty, or simply unpacking what is going on in our minds can ease feelings of isolation. Don’t forget, we also offer WhatsApp counselling, so even when you’re at home with your parents and paper thin walls, we can help. Set boundaries where needed If certain situations, conversations, or people drain you, it’s okay to step back, excuse yourself, or limit time spent there. Boundaries protect your energy, not your distance from others. At Consciously Kinky, both of us (Matthew and Paul) are here if you need a caring, non-judgemental space during this period. Whether it’s emotional support, a listening ear, or some grounding guidance, you’re welcome to reach out. All parts of your life — identity, desires, struggles, and hopes — are embraced here without judgement. We’re fully kink-aware and LGBTQ+ affirming.
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